30+ Married People Shared The Secrets They Learned About Their Spouses After Marrying Them, And They’re Shocking

This article appeared in Fabcrunch and has been published here with permission.

These Secrets Are Shocking!

Most people know each other pretty well before they decide to get married, right? Well, apparently not! No matter how long you’ve been together, it seems that some things only come out years into marriage. At least, that’s what happened to these people. These people shared online what were the surprising secrets they found about their spouses only after they tied the knot. And, boy, are these secrets juicy!

But it Doesn’t Count!

It’s perfectly normal to be in at least a few relationships before you settle down and decide to commit to someone. Today, it’s also pretty regular to have gone through a marriage or two before your current partner.

But it Doesn’t Count!

It can take time to find the right person for you. But, to take the leap and get married six times, and even worse — not to tell your current spouse about it is definitely a serious secret! Even so, we would like to know how long the marriages that didn’t count lasted…

It’s in the Past

It’s perfectly normal to want to know everything about your spouse’s past. But, the fact is, their past absolutely doesn’t concern anyone except them. So, we love this husband’s attitude of not making a fuss over her past.

It’s in the Past

It really is none of his business what she used to do, especially since it sounds like she stopped long before they ever knew each other. Plus, it seems there are a few appreciated perks!

So Cliché

Sadly, one of the most common secrets between couples is cheating and infidelity. It’s especially bad when it’s with someone you used to consider a friend.

So Cliché

This person didn’t only have to deal with losing a wife but also a best friend after they decided to cheat together. It must have been extra devastating to actually catch them very clearly in the act.

Oops Baby

As the saying goes, cheaters never prosper. But, it seems like that might not be 100% accurate. At least in some cases. Sometimes, cheaters gain strangely unexpected (and somewhat unwanted) prizes.

Oops Baby

Just read what this husband accidentally helped his wife figure out. While she might have lost her marriage, she did gain a pregnancy. There’s definitely a lesson in here about how all actions have consequences.

Shackled

Some old people like to joke around that marriage is basically prison (especially for the men in the relationship, for some reason). We’re pretty sure, though, that marriage has got nothing on actual jail time.

Shackled

We bet this poster’s husband knows exactly what we mean, with him being an ex-convict and all. After finding this wild secret out, the only one feeling shackled is the OP.

Broken Vows

No wedding is complete without a little bit of drama. But, when it’s this shocking and this disruptive, you may want to annul that marriage as soon as the party is over. This post is absolutely wild!

Broken Vows

First, why did the groom think it would be a good idea to invite his lover and her fistfighting girlfriend to the event? But, beyond that, why would she ever choose to stay with him after that disastrous beginning to the marriage?! At least now they’re done!

Paternity

The relationship between a father and his children can be an incredibly special one — filled with giggles, understanding, wisdom, and lots and lots of love. But, all that beauty can sour quickly when he finds out those kids might not be his.

Paternity

This poor man certainly received one heck of a curveball with this secret. We just hope he didn’t take it out on the completely innocent daughter. After all, to her, he’s the only father she’s ever known.

Not a Blue-Eyed Girl

Some secrets that people find out after marriage can be pretty harmless. As most married people will be happy to tell you, the majority of them learned just how gross their partners could be only after the wedding.

Not a Blue-Eyed Girl

But, some secrets are a lot bigger and harder to ignore. With all the strange secrets this woman was hiding from her partner, this post certainly escalated quickly! We just can’t imagine how she got away with having a completely different eye color for so long without anyone noticing!

Bi Warned

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a mental illness. Laying or omitting the fact that you struggle with your mental health, however, is all kinds of wrong!

Bi Warned

In his case, though, it’s kind of difficult to tell if this secret stemmed from a misunderstanding or an omission. Or, maybe she’s just both? Either way, this secret probably wasn’t the easiest to deal with.

Tounge Tied

It’s pretty well established in today’s culture that, for most couples, children come after tying the knot. In fact, some couples get married specifically for the purpose of growing their family. But, there are often unforeseen complications that come with that.

Tounge Tied

Sadly, in this case, the complication could have definitely been foreseen — at least by one person in the relationship. It must have been even more devastating to learn about the kids that she did have but never wanted.

What’s Mine Is Yours

Marriage has all sorts of unexpected pros and cons. Pro — you get someone to clean after you. Con — you also need to clean up after them. Pro — your household gets another income. Con — they might be hiding a financial secret, just like this wife did!

What’s Mine Is Yours

Learning that you’re suddenly on the hook for a massive debt is probably one of the worst wedding presents you could possibly get. This is one incredibly expensive and unpleasant surprise.

Aging Up

Here’s something to think about — a society is pretty messed up if it forces women to lie about their age so that they can hold on to their youthful value for just a few years longer.

Aging Up

How nice that her husband didn’t care in the end. Though, we’re kind of horrified that he flat out admitted that he wouldn’t have been interested if she was just a few years closer to his age. Oh, the hypocrisy…

We Smell a Lie

One of the secrets to a successful marriage is willing to compromise on certain things, even if they’re very important to you. These concessions can range in size from massive life decisions (like where to live) to the smallest things.

We Smell a Lie

That’s what this guy did — all to make his sweet wife think that she’s a good gift giver. It’s probably best that he came clean, though. We’re sure his nose appreciates the smell of honesty in the air.

The Crazy Lie

Much of our popular media today loves painting the mother-in-law as the worst monster a bride could ever encounter. And that’s certainly true, in some cases. In many families, the bride and mother of the groom get along perfectly well.

The Crazy Lie

But, it’s a bit hard to have a relationship with your MIL when you don’t know she even exists! This secret is definitely one of the weirder ones we have on this list. Really, who in their right mind would lie about something like this?!

Triple It

Beyond the fact that her age should have never been an issue in the first place, how in the world did this woman hide the fact that she was 12 (!!!) years older than she said?! Just the logistics of this lie boggles our minds!

Triple It

Thankfully, it seems that everyone came out okay from this revealed secret. But, this really does prove that you can never fully know someone! We’re just surprised her family didn’t spill the beans at some point.

A Difference in Opinion

When it comes to personal taste, it really is to each their own, right? Wrong! When it comes to certain things, you just have to put your foot down and refuse to accept their opinion because it’s absolutely 100% wrong!

A Difference in Opinion

How could anyone possibly hate these pillowy, sweet, sugary sweets?! What kind of heathen doesn’t like the best part of a s’more?! This is definitely a deal breaker! We refuse to be in a relationship with someone who holds such outrageous beliefs!

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

People usually say that “When you know, you know” — when the “right” person comes along, something just clicks inside. But, that sense of certainty usually takes a bit longer than a week of knowing each other to happen, no?

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Well, not for this bride! She clearly knew right away that this was the partner of her dreams. And she definitely wasn’t afraid to go after what she wanted. Her actions are actually pretty practical when you think about it. Weddings are pretty expensive…

Geeking Out

Nowadays, and thanks to shows like Stranger Things, liking geeky pastimes is pretty destigmatized. It can even be considered cool at times. For instance, just look up the handsome Henry Cavill nerding out over his Warhammer collection and many video games!

Geeking Out

So, it’s kind of funny that this husband felt the need to hide his love for Dungeons and Dragons from his bride. Hopefully, his new wife agrees that being a Level 16 Barbarian is better than him cheating on her.

The Best Surprise

This post definitely started off with a massive red flag. While financial independence is important even after marriage, your partner choosing to sort-of hide money from you should certainly raise at least a few eyebrows.

The Best Surprise

But, it looks like that flag was actually a huge bow on top of the best present this poster could ever hope to get! We love the selflessness and love that stood behind this secret. Clearly, this couple loves spoiling one another.

“What’s Your Number?”

The number of former romantic partners is a surprisingly complicated subject. It seems like everyone is judged, either for having too high or too low a number of relationships. It’s as if everyone should have some experience — but also not too much.

”What’s Your Number?”

Either way, it really shouldn’t be as much of an issue as it’s made out to be. We all have our own personal journeys that we go through in life. So, this secret probably shouldn’t have been as shocking as this woman apparently found it to be.

Show Off

We all have our quirky little abilities and hobbies that we like to show off to make a good impression, especially on a first date. Things like being able to touch your nose with your tongue, or being a fabulous dancer can all act as wonderful ice-breakers when getting to know someone.

Show Off

This woman seemed perfectly content to hide her incredible skill from her partner until long into their marriage. We don’t think we’ve ever seen someone so genuinely excited to learn a secret about their spouse. Good for them!

All Kinds of Wrong

Being a teenager can get pretty confusing. With all those hormones running around inside, most teens are interested in very few things other than exploring new sensations — sound, logical judgment be damned.

All Kinds of Wrong

This teen’s vulnerable state was clearly taken advantage of by his teacher. This secret probably wasn’t the easiest to share. Unfortunately, from the wording of this post, it looks like his partner doesn’t see the situation quite the way we do.

So Calculating

For much of human history, a love match was far from being the norm. Most people chose their partners according to shared values, political considerations, or any kind of financial or security reasons. A love-less marriage was considered perfectly normal.

So Calculating

Thankfully, that’s not the case anymore. At least, most of the time. This guy was clearly looking to marry for love, but it looks like his ex had other plans. The main problem here is the years of deception when she could have been honest and let the chips fall where they may.

Secret Identity

When you get married, you usually feel like you already know practically everything about your spouse. Thankfully, there’s plenty more to learn about each other throughout the marriage — just to keep things spicy!

Secret Identity

But, this might be keeping them too spicy! You still want to know some true things about your partner. It sounds like this guy created a whole new person just to get the poster to fall in love with him!

Perfect Timing

Planning a wedding is pretty stressful — getting all the vendors, taking care of all the little details, and making sure the guest list is organized can all be fairly overwhelming. So, dropping a bomb like this the day before is probably the worst!

Perfect Timing

The breach of trust that this secret revealed must have been truly heartbreaking. And it came at what could probably be considered the worst time ever! We wonder if the wedding ended up actually happening…

Playing the Blame Game

While some couples have no trouble conceiving, others can find it a pretty difficult process. In those cases, the couple is often encouraged to both be tested and not to place the blame on each other — but to actively target the issue.

Playing the Blame Game

Clearly, this husband was only interested in placing blame, and in the process, he seems to have accidentally dropped a pretty big secret! This is information that this poster probably should have had a lot sooner. We’re glad this marriage is over!

Partner in Crime

Kleptomania is a pretty serious mental health disorder that causes a person to be unable to resist the urge to steal something, especially unnecessary trinkets. The disorder comes with quite a bit of emotional pain for both the stealer and their family.

Partner in Crime

But, it looks like this wife has managed to find a system that helps her deal with her difficulty, by being honest about her secret once she was married. While this should probably be treated professionally, this is definitely a better solution than just stealing.

The Power of Manifestation

Some kids like playing with toys when they’re bored, while others prefer to pass the time by planning their perfect future wedding. This woman was clearly part of that second group growing up.

The Power of Manifestation

She either has the power to predict the future, or she’s just very, very goal-oriented. In any case, her determination has clearly succeeded, as she’s managed to catch the man of her dreams. It’s only slightly creepy… right?

Oh, the Vanity!

Look, we all have those little things about our appearance that make us feel self-conscious. Luckily, with many of them, there are all sorts of ways to tweak them a bit (if embracing those things isn’t working for you).

Oh, the Vanity!

This husband getting a nose job at a young age is perfectly okay. His lying about how it happened — painting himself as some sort of tragic character in the process — is absolutely wrong, though. Nonetheless, we do love that his mother was the one who outed him!

Foolproof Plan

This post honestly sounds like the plot of a really bad dude-bro comedy. What kind of sane and thoughtful friend would possibly agree to such a crazy scheme like this?! These two idiots are clearly out of their minds!

Foolproof Plan

The fact that his wife only found out about this whole mess years later is just the cherry on the already very rotten cake. This is one situation that we’re very happy not to be a part of. Maybe some secrets should stay buried.

Nerd Alert

Usually, one of the first questions people ask on a first date is “What are your hobbies?” It’s a great way to gauge whether or not you and your potential partner like similar things. But, it looks like this couple forgot this crucial step in their courtship.

Nerd Alert

It must have been quite a shock to learn her husband was a massive geek after so many years. Although, we do think there must have been at least a few signs of his sci-fi passion that the poster must have missed. We still hope they “live long and prosper!”

Super Step-Dad

It’s not the easiest job to step up as a parent to children who aren’t initially yours. But, the willingness to accept them into your heart and be the best step-parent that you could possibly be will make all the difference in the world to those kids.

Super Step-Dad

This guy was fully ready to take responsibility for parenting his wife’s kid. But, finding out of the blue that two more boys have become his as well must have not been easy. According to his profile, though, he seems to love being their step-dad. We love a happy ending!

Appreciation

A strong marriage can survive a lot of things. With enough honesty and a real willingness to put in the effort and hard work necessary, it can even endure lying and cheating. What it can’t recover from, though, is a lack of respect and appreciation.

Appreciation

This story makes it pretty clear that this partner really was willing to do absolutely anything to help their spouse through her financial troubles (even though, she wasn’t putting in the same effort). This partner definitely deserved a bit more gratitude and recognition.

Learn Something New Every Day

Imagine how boring it would be if you actually knew absolutely everything there was to know about your partner from the moment you got married until the day you called it quits. It would be horribly dull.

Learn Something New Every Day

But, learning that your partner knows an entire language years into the marriage might be a bit too exciting, as far as new information goes. This definitely makes you wonder what else this guy has been hiding from his spouse.

Do the Math

How many partners your spouse had before you should never really be your concern. They could have had none or 20, as long as you’re the last, it doesn’t actually matter that much. Unfortunately, that really isn’t always the case.

Do the Math

We never thought that some simple math would make us so sad. This is a terrible way to find out your spouse has been cheating on you — and repetitively, apparently. Hopefully, this poster will find someone whose numbers they can trust.

Like Riding a Bike

All those rom coms tell us that marriage should be about as easy as riding a bike. But, really, marriage is a lot more like getting on a bike for the very first time when you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing.

Like Riding a Bike

So, finding out your spouse doesn’t know how to use a bicycle mid-way through a ride certainly adds a few bumps on the road of marriage. We just hope this brought these two together — and maybe led to a bike-learning montage, ya know like in those rom coms we all love?!

A Modern Sitcom

Coming out as part of the LGBTQ+ community is hardly ever easy. It always comes with at least a few bumps in the road. Especially, when a person comes out as transgendered — and even more so when they do it while married.

A Modern Sitcom

It couldn’t have been easy for either of them, but it looks like her ex-wife took it like a champ and has been super supportive of her ex-husband’s gender affirmation journey. We love their enduring friendship and their sense of humor surrounding this revealed secret!

The Artist Within

Some secrets are terrible when they’re finally revealed — like someone being unfaithful in the relationship, for example. But, some secrets are so wholesome and beautiful that, when they’re discovered, they make for an absolute surprise.

The Artist Within

Finding out your husband is actually a super talented ballroom dancer who can literally sweep you off your feet before treating you to a perfectly decorated cupcake as a treat — that’s probably the sweetest secret on this list.

Double Lottery Winner

Using online dating services is definitely a bit of a gamble. You really have no way of knowing whether you’re being catfished or not by the mysterious person on the other side. If you’re lucky, they turn out to be a decent human being.

Double Lottery Winner

If you’re as lucky as this poster, you’ve won the jackpot! Not only did they find a fantastic companion to whom they’re passionately attracted, but they also married into tons of money! We just hope they both stayed down to earth.

The Horror!

In a marriage, some behaviors are so horrible… so inexcusably cruel… that they cannot be forgiven. This crime against all that is good and decent in the world of pancakes is clearly one of those!

The Horror!

Come on! Who in their right mind eats a pancake from the center out?! We don’t know about you, but to us, this would be some serious grounds for divorce! Absolutely shocking!

A Truth and a Lie?

Trauma can certainly manifest itself in uniquely destructive ways when someone is in a relationship. But, blaming every single bad behavior on that long-ago terrible experience — especially when it’s the first time it comes up — is just weird.

A Truth and a Lie?

Plus, with everything this soon-to-be ex (STBX) has apparently withheld from his partner, it’s safe to say that his excuses should probably be taken with at least a small grain of salt. His secrets and lies definitely blew up this marriage.

Control

One of the key ingredients to a good relationship is reciprocity — the willingness and ability to both give and receive from your partner. It also means sometimes allowing your partner to take some control and trusting them to have your best interest in mind.

Control

Clearly, this woman is convinced that any moment of even the slightest bit of vulnerability and weakness will be taken advantage of to harm her. While the mind-control thing might be pretty out there, the sentiment behind it feels like it’s coming from some pretty deep trauma.

Don’t Like the Way You Lie

We all know that one person that, when dating, completely changes who they are to make themselves more likable to their potential partner. They do, or say, absolutely anything to make sure that nothing shakes the relationship.

Don’t Like the Way You Lie

Unfortunately, that kind of change can only hold up for so long. Eventually, their house of cards tumbles around them and they reveal their true colors. If it wasn’t so awful, this husband’s years of lying would have almost been impressive.

Who’s the Bad Guy?

A lot of former women of the night can find it difficult to step away from the profession once they decide to move on. It seems that this poster’s ex was having exactly that problem. That still doesn’t mean she should have lied!

Who’s the Bad Guy?

This is a serious breach of trust, so we completely understand why they ended up divorced — especially when you add all his other reasons for not staying. This whole marriage just sounds like a massive disaster.